belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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