chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize