AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
