pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
