talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I didn't notice because vodka
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
