Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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