Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize