she was so not down for the gang bang
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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