Is it normal to miss your booty call?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
