Midget sex pt 2 tonight
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
