I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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