brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
