you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I would ride that face into the sunset
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
