Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
