Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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