I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
