The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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