He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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