Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
