thus making me awesome and them whores
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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