so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
