He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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