saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
