I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
