but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
