Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
