I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
