youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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