I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
