Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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