i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
