I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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