Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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