Don't you send me to vm
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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