Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
