you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
