If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
