I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
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Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This baby is an asshole
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
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so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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