Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
