YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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