my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
