I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
