did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I bet he comes in French.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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