If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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