can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize