Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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