WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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