I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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