Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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