I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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