dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
