i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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