I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
