You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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