I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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