Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
