she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
