he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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