Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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