Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
