Cold hands, warm shart.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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