We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
