You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
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the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
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I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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