I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
