I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
