I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
