no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's shark week go big or go home
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
